Reflection
My Chinese Journey
北京市， 颐和园
Beijing, Summer Palace
Difficult tasks are often compared to walls, barriers that seem impossible to overcome. Learning Chinese can certainly look and feel like a wall. In keeping with architecture metaphors, bridges often represent opportunities or connection. Walls and Bridges, difficulties and opportunities, division and connection, these seemingly diametrically opposed structures actually have a fair amount in common. They both start with a solid foundation from which the bridge or wall is then built up from stone-by-stone. There are many different approaches to building such structures, but at some point, a foundation must be laid, the structure built up, and eventually taken care of and refurbished. Learning a language is much like building a wall or a bridge. Learning a language is a structure that takes a long time to build, long enough that the foundation must be revisited, and the stones used to build it fixed and replaced. My journey with Chinese has been like building a long, winding wall.
Pebble by Pebble
I began construction in eighth grade. Due to scheduling conflicts, I was given the option of taking Spanish at a higher level than I was prepared for or starting Chinese at the beginner level with the sixth graders and two other eighth graders that had transferred that year.Given that I could barely pronounce my R's correctly in English (sorry to my brother "Patwick" for the years before speech therapy), I had never quite gotten into learning Spanish.
Related Classes
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CHIN 231 & 232 Intermediate Chinese
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ASIAN 282 Second Language Learning in an Asian Context
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CHIN 301 & 302 Advanced Chinese
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ASIAN 270 Visual Culture of Modern China with FLC Course
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ASIAN 237 Modern Chinese Literature & Society with FLC Course
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TERM IN CHINA: intermediate newspaper reading, advanced oral, advanced listening, intermediate integrated, cross-cultural comparative studies on education
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ECON 218 Economic Progress in China
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CHIN 320 Special Topics in Chinese
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ECON 382 International Economics
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HIST 345 East Asia History Seminar
I decided to try something new by starting Chinese. Since I had just transferred to the school after Thanksgiving, I had some catch up to do in the class, by which I mean all of the basic pronunciations and greetings everyone else had spent the last three months learning. It was a bit rough, but I kept going and learning bit by bit. My Uncle's father was from Hong Kong and he had given me a Chinese name after I was born. We had the calligraphy piece at home for years, but my immediate family had forgotten what it actually meant. I brought a picture of it to class one day and learned that the name was 甘兰. Gan meaning sweet was a phonetic sounding of Gagnon and Lan meaning orchid was the name he had chosen for me. It was meaningful to have this connection and I have continued to cherish having my own unique Chinese name as I have traveled abroad and been able to use it to represent myself, something I never would have expected at that time. I continued slowly learning Chinese in high school, collecting pebbles for my bridge/wall. I had the opportunity to travel to Changsha & Beijing, China for two weeks in high school. That experience gave me my first taste of being abroad and of being completely out of my comfort zone. It was challenging and I realized how much I did not know and was just not aware of at that time. It left me wanting to learn more.
Perusing a bookstore in Shanghai with a friend
～我们的水平还好像小孩子（哭）应邀努力学习！！以后要再回来读更难得书～
"Our level still resembles that of a kid (tears). We should study hard and return later to read more difficult books."
Building up the Bricks
When applying to colleges, I knew I wanted to continue studying Chinese, but I had not decided if it was something I wanted to seriously pursue as a major. St. Olaf gave me the wonderful opportunity to continue learning Chinese but also experience the variety of a liberal arts education. My Chinese classes have always had a unique feel to them. Most people seem to be failing and succeeding almost simultaneously. I think it has to do with how languages are learned. Often times, messing up is required in order for it to be corrected, tried again, and learned. I think how we find a way to communicate with each other through this mess gives Chinese classes a particular charm.
I have a vivid memory of a Chinese class during my first year at St. Olaf where Shih Laoshi had us march around the classroom on the top floor of Old Main in accordance to the different tones. We certainly looked odd marching around like this, but I found it strangely effective as it helped me to develop a more physical feel for how the tones were pronounced. I think at this point I realized that one of the things I loved about Chinese classes was that it was one of the few places where it truly felt okay to mess up, fail, and perhaps look a bit silly. I've found that the people who end up studying Chinese are always very interesting and engaging. I think learning Chinese takes a
certain amount of gumption and willingness to fail. I've really enjoyed the people that I have ended up with in my Chinese classes and the amount of failing and picking ourselves back up we've done together.
I tried multiple different disciplines during my first year in addition to Chinese. The courses that stuck and ultimately became my majors were economics and Chinese. I enjoyed economics because of the way it helped me to think logically about the world. In its own way, Chinese was shaping my thought process and how I viewed the world as well.
All in Time
One of the aspects I enjoy most about learning Chinese is the process of learning itself. I especially love the process of learning characters, creating odd little ways of remembering them, and then placing them into the larger context of a sentence and beyond. At some point around here, Chinese became a way of thinking and processing the world, not just a language. This enjoyment of the learning process itself, has kept me going through the difficulties and frustrations of Chinese.
As a sophomore, I was a Junior Counselor (JC) in Kildahl, where two other JCs were also studying Chinese. This formed a special bond between the three of us that year, as we went to Chinese Table together almost every week. The trio of us in Kildahl actually all ended up going on the Term in China Trip together.
Classes wise, although I was very invested in the Chinese major, I did not, as I think half the people I knew assumed I was, do the Asian Conversation Program. This was partially because of my desire to do a longer semester abroad later as well as my interest in another interim program that would combine my two majors later on. While I did not do Asian Con, I did take two different China focused courses, one a Modern Chinese Literature course and the other one focused on Visual Culture in China. Both classes had an additional foreign language component that I took. I received my FLC Certificate from these courses.
Whole Sections
Term in China will forever hold a special place in my heart. While overheating and just about fainting from the heat and nerves the first week there, I ultimately learned so much and really grew into myself there. Not being a naturally outgoing person, speaking is not always at the top of my list of my favorite things to do, but while in China this was unavoidable. However, I eventually got used it and even found it enjoyable. My favorite usage of the language was being able to communicate with my classmates solely through Chinese. I ended up getting placed in a higher level of Chinese than I was expecting when I started classes at ECNU. While it certainly felt above my skill level, it actually ended up working out for the best because of the people in my class. Everyone was there to learn, and they were very kind and understanding. Although we were from all over the world, we had a common interested in China. Having classmates that were at a slightly higher level, while uncomfortable at first, ended up being a really good thing. Because of the overall higher level of the class, I was able to make closer friends with the people that the only language we shared was Chinese that I would have otherwise not had. If I had not been able to speak and understand Chinese, I would not have been able to become close friends with them.
Studying abroad definitely sped up my learning through daily speaking and reading opportunities as well as being surrounded by other supportive language learners. At this point, I was coming closer to finishing off some sections of my learning. While maintenance will always be needed, I felt like I had a solid enough foundation in enough aspects of the language to move upwards.
After this semester, I was able to travel by myself for a little over a week. I went to Seoul, Xiamen, and then to Hong Kong to meet up with my classmates for my interim class, Economic Progress in China. Being able to travel and get around by myself was extremely rewarding. Chinese has exposed me to different parts of the world and has introduced me to new forms of self-expression. As I get to a point where I am able to use Chinese to actually enjoy things in Chinese, I cherish learning even more. What might have looked like an obstacle at first has turned out to be a great opportunity to connect with others and express myself differently.
Switching from a very independent semester to traveling with a group during interim took some extra patience. However, I was able to use my knowledge of the area and the language to help others, particularly through finding yummy places and things to eat.
Rebuilding and Retracing
This year after returning from China has been strange. Due to taking classes to finish my economics major, I was unable to take a Chinese language course this year. Dealing with some personal health issues this fall also decreased the amount of time and effort I was able to put towards Chinese. During this time, I had to take a more passive approach to learning Chinese. After such an intense period of active learning in China, this certainly felt like a step back. I was not building large sections anymore, it felt like I was back to moving pebbles.
However, I learned that these pebbles still have a use and still have meaning. I tried to keep my Chinese from completely falling down by trying to keep my brain used to hearing and learning Chinese by listening to music, watching TV, and reading in Chinese. While this did help my listening and reading comprehension, my speaking ability has taken a bit of a hit this year. Speaking has always been the most difficult part of Chinese for me. While frustrating, I am glad that I was able to still keep Chinese as a part of my life. It is something I deeply enjoy learning and it brightens my life. Working on this portfolio has reminded me of that the progress I have made in the past is not completely gone. I may just need to retrace and rebuild certain areas.
Moving Forward
Regardless of where Chinese is in my life, learning Chinese has forever changed how I think and that is something that impacts me daily. Chinese has created a lens for me with which to view and think about the world. The constant practice of looking at the small details while remaining focused on the broader context has shaped how I am able to think about the world. Chinese is something I cherish deeply, and it is something that I will work to make a place for in my life, regardless of where I end up next. It has taught me the value of not just overcoming difficulties but turning them into opportunities to grow. Although I may not go directly into a job related to China. I treasure my Chinese studies and know my language skills will serve me well in both professional and personal opportunities.
A wall is not just an obstacle to conquer. A wall may lead to higher ground from which more can be seen. Walls support and enclose our homes. A wall may be the starting point of a bridge that connects you to more experiences than you had imagined. Whether a wall is an obstacle or an opportunity has somewhat to do with what you're given and a lot to do with what you do with that obstacle. I have gotten used to the repeated process of taking tiny steps, taking leaps of faith, slipping up, and succeeding while learning Chinese. I believe that this practice will serve me well in turning more obstacles into opportunities in my life.